What I Feel for You
by sonder-wonder
Summary: Basically, Chiyo falls seriously ill while and school and Nozaki takes care of her, realizing he has feelings for her along the way. I've only watched the anime, so I'm sorry if there are any overlaps between this story and the manga! Rated K for a little language, nothing graphic. I do not own Gekkan Shoujo Nozaki-kun!
1. Chapter 1

This, Nozaki thought, was definitely his favorite time of day.

The lamplight cast a warm, yellow glow throughout the room, shedding just enough light for drawing. The only sounds in his apartment were the steady hum of the dishwasher and the scratching of pens upon paper. Sakura sat directly across from him at the table, working dutifully on the beta for his next issue, her red hair falling across her face like a curtain. Watching her, a feeling of contentment swelled within him; truly, he could stay here in this room forever and be perfectly happy. A slight smile crept onto his face as he turned his attention back to his manga.

He didn't know exactly when the pen-scratching stopped: he was so absorbed in his drawings that the silence took a minute to reach him. He looked up, and saw that Sakura had indeed put down her pen and was staring vacantly off into space. It seemed like her mind was thousands of miles away, and for some reason, Nozaki felt an urge to bring her back down to earth. He had to call her name three times before getting any response: "…Sakura!"

She started, almost upsetting the open inkbottle next to her elbow. "Oh—Nozaki-kun! I'm sorry, I wasn't paying attention…" She laughed nervously, a faint blush spreading steadily across her face.

"It's fine. I…" _Damn._ Why had he called her name in the first place? "Uh, I wanted to know if you had finished the beta on those." He pointed to the stack of pages next to her.

"Oh, of course! Yes, I did finish." She straightened the pile and handed the pages to him. Their fingers brushed, and she pulled her hands back quickly, her blush deepening.

"Thanks." He placed the papers next to him, then turned his gaze back to Sakura. She sat there with her head down, hands by her sides, unusually quiet. _Is something wrong?_ he wondered. "Are you okay? You seem a little…"

Her head snapped up. "Of course, I'm fine, I'm fine! Just a little tired, I guess!" She smiled, then reached for her bag. "I think I'm going to head home a little early, though. I have a math test tomorrow that I need to study for."

Nozaki got up and walked her to the door. "I'll see you at school, then. You can, uh… come over again tomorrow if you want."( _Why did I say that?_ he berated himself internally. The invitation usually went without saying: she had been coming over after school almost every day for months now.)

Fortunately, she either didn't notice or chose not to comment on it. "Okay! Bye, Nozaki-kun!" She waved, then turned as the door swung slowly shut.

As Nozaki watched her retreating figure through the dark window, he felt an odd sense of emptiness. Silence swelled within the apartment, but somehow it was _more_ silent than it had been before. He turned and walked back into the living room, trying and failing not to dwell on the lonely feeling welling up inside of him. _Why?_ he asked himself. _Why do I feel this way?_ This night was no different than the countless other nights he spent alone with his drawings. Although lately, he mused, Sakura had been around more often than not. At first, it had been all about the manga: Nozaki needed an assistant, and Sakura was a talented artist and efficient worker. But things had changed, and Nozaki found that he genuinely enjoyed her company. She could be talkative, but never overly so, and she was funny, but not at the expense of others. She didn't demand constant attention, unlike some people (Kashima came to Nozaki's mind) but always let him know what she was thinking, and, in Nozaki's experience, her thoughts were usually worth listening to. He'd lost track of how many times she had given him advice on new scenarios for Mamiko and Yuzuki.

 _I guess I've gotten so used to having her around that I've started to take her for granted_ , Nozaki thought as he pulled on a comfortable t-shirt and pair of sweats. Yes, that must be the cause of his feelings! Sakura's presence in his life had become a constant that he relied on. Nozaki was a creature of habit: he drew comfort from steady routine, and change unsettled him. It was no surprise that her early departure affected him this way. He took the pages Sakura had been working on and sat down in his desk chair, flipping through them absentmindedly. _I can't expect her to be here all the time_ , he told himself. _She has other things to do._ And yet, somehow, the thought of Sakura busy with other things (and other people) troubled him.

Nozaki sighed, then turned his attention to the blank storyboard on his desk. New scenarios jostled around in his head, practically begging to be put on paper. He grabbed a pen and started drawing, losing himself in the world of Mamiko and Suzuki.


	2. Chapter 2

Sakura woke to the incessant ringing of her alarm clock. Still half-asleep, she stuck her hand out and blindly slapped at her bedside table until she hit the button and the blaring noise stopped. After a few moments of blissful silence, she turned over and squinted at the glowing digital numbers of the clock, gasping as she realized what time it was. She threw off the covers and stumbled into the bathroom. _How could I have slept though my alarm?_ she thought helplessly as she pulled on her wrinkled school uniform (she hadn't bothered to hang it up last night). A sudden wave of dizziness forced her to grab onto the counter, and she fought to remain upright.

After a few seconds and deep breaths, the vertigo passed, and Sakura looked up into the bathroom mirror. Her own tired and drawn reflection stared back at her, eyes shadowy and sunken. She had been so busy lately trying to balance schoolwork with helping Nozaki, and the late nights were beginning to take their toll: she was absolutely exhausted. For the past couple of days she had been feeling run down, but ignored it, hoping her symptoms would go away on their own. She was paying for her negligence now, and knew from experience that by tomorrow, she would definitely be down for the count. But she could hold out one more day, couldn't she? Her math test was today, and the teacher never allowed retakes. "I can do this," she told herself, but her hoarse voice was barely above a whisper, and not very convincing. "I _have_ to do this," she tried. She couldn't afford to miss this test. The thought of failing math strengthened her resolve, and ten minutes later she was ready to leave. After deciding to skip breakfast—she didn't feel very hungry—Sakura shoved her books into her school bag, hoisted it onto her shoulder, and walked out the door. She would make it through this day if it killed her.

* * *

By midday, Sakura was seriously regretting that bold declaration. She'd managed to get through her math test, but continued to feel worse as the day progressed. Now, in history class, she was absolutely miserable. A steady pounding had taken up residence inside her head, and the painfully bright classroom lights were not helping in the slightest. The room was hot, almost unbearably so; she laid her cheek on the cool surface of the desk and closed her eyes, trying to block everything out.

A few minutes later the lunch bell rang, and the cacophonic grating of twenty-five chairs against floor filled the room. Sakura kept her head down as the other students filed out, chattering and laughing. She felt a hand on her shoulder.

"Hey, Sakura, aren't you coming to lunch?" It was Seo.

Sakura lifted her head and mustered up a weak smile. "No, I don't think so. I'm not that hungry."

Seo shifted her weight from one foot to the other, her brow furrowing. "Are you okay? You look a little…"

Sakura nodded. "Just tired." That seemed to satisfy Seo; she flashed Sakura a peace sign and a smile, then sauntered out of the room.

Sakura sighed in relief. Seo had never been very observant, and for that, right now, she was grateful. She lowered her head back onto the desk and willed her pounding headache to go away.

* * *

After two more grueling classes, the school day was finally over. Sakura stood up slowly, slipping books into her bag with shaking hands. She couldn't seem to hold them steady. Another wave of dizziness hit and she braced herself against the edge of the desk, closing her eyes. She felt strange. _Probably a fever_ , she thought distantly. A sea of people was flooding out of the open classroom doorway; she floated through the crowd out into the hall. As she walked along, keeping one hand on the wall in case of another dizzy spell, she heard a familiar voice. She realized it was calling to her.

"…Sakura, Sakura, wait up!" Kashima's worried face appeared in front of her. "Are you okay? You look like you're about to fall over!"

It took Sakura a minute to register the question. She blinked. "I'm fine." Her voice was hoarse, and she coughed softly into her arm. Everything was hazy.

Kashima did not look convinced. "Are you sure? You're really pale…here, let me take you to the nurse's—"

"Kashima-kun, I'm _fine._ I just—I just need to go home and get some sleep. I'll see you tomorrow." Sakura pushed gently past Kashima and continued down the hallway.

"But—Sakura, _wait_ , you can't walk home in this storm, you'll freeze!" Kashima's desperate cries faded into the background, vague and unintelligible. Sakura pushed open the door and stepped out into the heavy rain.


	3. Chapter 3

Nozaki never paid much attention in class. His notes were always covered in drawings of Mamiko and Suzuki, head full of possible storylines.

Today, however, was different.

Today, his mind was occupied by a certain red-haired girl.

He hadn't seen Sakura at all that day. This wasn't exactly out of the ordinary, since they didn't have any classes together.

 _Still_ , he thought, _it isn't normal either. I usually see her at lunch._

Thought he tried to rid his mind of that particular train of thought, Nozaki just couldn't manage to do it. Not even doodles could distract him: he laid down his pencil and stared at the half-drawn Mamiko on his paper in frustration.

He was relieved when class finally ended.

As the rest of the class filed out of the room, Mikoshiba approached, hopping up onto the desk next to Nozaki's and letting out a long-suffering sigh. "I didn't think I was going to make it through that lecture. So boring!"

Nozaki looked up, surprised. "Really? I didn't hear any of it."

Mikoshiba rolled his eyes. "Of course. How do you plan to pass this class?"

Nozaki shrugged. "It'll work out," he said as he started packing up his books. Mikoshiba snagged the loose sheet of paper off of his desk and held it up to the light, expecting to see a drawing of Mamiko and Suzuki. His eyebrows rose in surprise. "…Sakura?"

Nozaki's head shot up. "What? Where?"

Mikoshiba dangled the drawing in front of Nozaki's face. "Right here. You drew her."

Cheeks turning red, Nozaki snatched the paper out of Mikoshiba's hand. It _did_ look like Sakura, much more than Mamiko. He crumpled it in his fist and stuffed it deep inside his bag. "Shut up," he muttered.

Mikoshiba gave him a strange look. "What's wrong with you?"

Nozaki never got a chance to answer, because at that moment, Kashima burst into the classroom, tripping on the threshold and falling flat on her face.

Both boys jumped in surprise. Mikoshiba hurried over to help her up, but Kashima was already on her feet again. Despite her theatrical entrance, she seemed genuinely upset, her green eyes wide.

"Nozaki, something's wrong with Sakura-chan, and I tried to stop her but she won't listen to—"

Nozaki felt a sickening swoop in his stomach. "Something's wrong with—what's wrong with her? What happened?"

Kashima was wringing her hands. "I don't know, I don't know…I think she's sick, but she wouldn't let me take her to the nurse, and now she's walking home in the rain, and I'm worried. She didn't look so good."

Fear fluttered deep in Nozaki's chest. _Sick?_ He thought back to last night. Had she been sick then? She'd said she was just tired…How could he not have noticed? He stood up abruptly, stuffing his bag under his arm. "I've got to find her."

"Oi, Nozaki—" Mikoshiba's worried voice sounded behind him as he left the room, picking up speed with every step.

(POV shift, sorry if this is confusing! I'm not used to writing on here yet.)

It was so cold.

Sakura drifted slowly along the sidewalk, vaguely aware that she was soaking wet. Her feet squished inside her shoes with every step. She shuddered as a gust of wind blew past her, chilling her to the bone. Her teeth clacked together uncontrollably. _Why is it so cold?_ Rivulets of water ran down her face, into her eyes, and she blinked to clear them. The pounding in her head had reached a painful crescendo, pulsing through her entire body: she could feel it in her fingertips. Intense dizziness engulfed her, and she swayed, her bag falling to the ground.

She could hear faint shouting in the distance, and the sound of pounding feet. Everything came to her in disjointed flashes: a pair of dark shoes, warm hands on her shoulders…A voice, deep and worried, reverberating through the air. Sakura's legs gave out, and she fell forward: strong arms supported her. The voice grew frantic. Too tired to fight anymore, she let herself fade away into nothingness.

Thunder rumbled in the sky as Nozaki raced down the sidewalk through the pouring rain, already completely soaked despite having left the school only a minute ago. It was the kind of rain that hurt when it hit you—big, hard drops that felt more solid than liquid—and it was coming down so hard that Nozaki could barely see. Still he kept running, squinting his eyes against the rain and searching for any sign of Sakura. As he turned the corner, sloshing through yet another puddle, he caught a glimpse of a figure in the distance…Yes! "Sakura!" he called out, picking up speed.

The closer he got, the more obvious it became that something was very wrong. Nozaki watched in horror as Sakura staggered and dropped her bag, the contents spilling out onto the sidewalk. "Sakura, hold on!" He reached her as fast as he could, steadying her with his hands. "Sakura, are you alright? Can you hear me?" he asked worriedly. She didn't respond. Her eyes were glassy and unfocused, and he could feel her shaking. Before he could say another word, she slumped forward; thankfully, Nozaki kept her from hitting the ground. "Sakura!" He called her name urgently, but there was no reply. A wave of panic washed over him. _What do I do?_ He wasn't a doctor. He didn't know how to take care of sick people.

This wasn't just a sick person, though. This was _Sakura._

Without a second thought, Nozaki shoved the wet papers back into Sakura's bag, picked her up, bridal-style, and started jogging in the direction of his apartment.


End file.
